An ode to the odious Scot Morrisson

· Government policy

Scotty called the troops around
To plan to win the election ground

They came from near. They came from far
But mostly from the parliamentary bar

Scotty looked on all with pride
And everyone was on his side

The Treasurer’s name was Josh
To marginals, he paid the dosh

From the bush came Barnaby Joyce
An exploding tomato with a matching voice

By his side was Peter Dutton
The man with a head like a leg of mutton

And minister Alan Tudge
The one nobody could budge

Her majesty Susan Ley
Like a donkey, she could bray

And poor old Warren Entsch
Never let him off the bench

The honest soldier Andrew Hastie
Ben Robert-Smith thought he was crazy

Health minister Gregory Hunt
The doctors all, call him a c**t

The aptly named David Littleproud
Anonymous in the cabinet crowd

The ghost called Ken O’Dowd
Disappearing in the crowd

The misnamed Christian, called Porter
Keep him away from anyones daughter

The serious ranga Melissa Price
Generally frowning and not very nice

Two Christian names for Stuart Robert
Half as smart as your average hobbit

The smarmy Andrew Taylor
As safe as a drunken sailor

The rhyming names of Dan Tehan
Trade portfolio spent causing foreign bans

Aboriginal Minister Kenneth Wyatt
Keeps very, very, very quiet

The juggler Timothy Wilson
Environment and energy his mixed-up mission

At the head was Scotty M. The son of a Morris Dancer
In all his time in politics, he never gave an answer

Our time has come, victory near
Albo cringes full of fear

The public will never the past remember
Nothing before January or last December

Forget the subs and covid failure
Just talk about Trans and how good is Australia

Ignore the waste and parking stations
Scare the pants off most of the nation

No integrity commission is Labor’s fault
All they want is a kangaroo court

The other side can never be trusted
Don’t talk to the ABC or we’ll get busted.

Economy and jobs are what we say
And then delay them till another day.

On election day the voters decide
Who will be bridesmaid and who will be bride.

So, look at the facts and make a call
One to rise and one to fall

Now I am for Scotty. I see what he did
And we should be kind and give him a quid

A parliamentary pension I had in mind
To speed it up is more than kind

So let us show our appreciation
A holiday for Scott given by the nation

Give him time to hold a hose
For Hillsong he can songs compose

Don’t be greedy, spread the cheer
Send the lot off for a beer

Give them all an extended break
Give the tree a solid shake

But a special note of gratitude
For the PM we include.

Take his ball and take his bat
Leave the field – how good is that

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