Time to do a report on the State of the Union in 2030. As you know, President for Life Trump is busy addressing some of the opportunities for America and improving its citizens’ lives. It is four years since President Trump was declared President for life by the Supreme Court. As you will remember, the case before the court was that if China and Russia could appoint lifetime leaders, it set a precedent for the constitution to be changed so that the USA was not left behind.

The President also sends his prayers and condolences to the families of the three judges who coincidentally passed away that year. The cause of their deaths is still being investigated and although they were accidentally cremated, the investigation committee said they are confident they can read the ashes. The silver lining is that they have now been replaced by judges who have strong and patriotic American views rather than the radical, left-wing ideology of the deceased judges.

Stage one of the electoral reformation in 2028 was a resounding success. Future elections will use the same approach where every candidate must be endorsed by the President. Voters must be either well-educated and rich or belong to a political group such as the Proud Boys. It avoids the problem where the poor who have little education, can elect radicals who promise to change things but never deliver. We now have capable, qualified people to manage the country and achieve the vision of the President.

Stage two of the electoral reforms is in progress. The Supreme Court and the President will set the electoral maps across the country in a fair and non-political way.

There is still some problem with the civil unrest between state militia. The confederate state militias led by Alabama have now pushed back the west coast militias led by California. The uprising in the southern, predominantly Mexican states now seems to be under control and it is hoped the threat to break away and join Mexico is now over. The good news is that fatalities have dropped this year and only a few million died in the uprisings.

The President pointed out that the drop in fatalities is happening because he made the second amendment mandatory. Now you must own a gun. It proves that gun control was a fallacy. More guns equals less deaths.

Relations with China have improved since we leased most of our navy to the Chinese. Not only has it improved relations but has been a financial bonus to Uber who were appointed to manage the outsourcing of our ships and sailors. With the support of the defence industry, we plan to build more ships and planes and pursue leasing arrangements with a number of countries. Russia has already leased artillery to use in the ongoing Ukraine conflict. In order to take a fair and balanced approach to foreign policy, we leased part of the Air Force to Ukraine.

At home, Florida is now mainly underwater and offers many opportunities for aquatic sports. There are still those who blame climate change, but as the President said, “It is not the oceans rising. It is the land sinking. The only way to make the land rise is to drill holes and let in air.” This year over 1,000 new mines were started in the name of saving the planet.

The scourge of abortion must be eliminated. More beheadings of those carrying out abortions took place this year. The so-called illegal “termination tours” by pregnant women to Canada have also been stopped.

Another positive action was to expand the adoption services to third-world countries. Since there are too many babies up for adoption in the US, we will open the market to third-world countries. A white baby in a black community is a sign of progress, and a status symbol as well. In the last month, over 1,000 have been sent to Sudan as part of our relief efforts.

The nationalisation of Twitter has proven a resounding success. Under the watchful eye of President Trump, Anti-American comments have all but disappeared. Twitter is now a trustworthy source of truth and CEO Steve Bannon, with the help of the CIA and FBI, continues to weed out trolls.

Vice President Donald Trump Jnr has said how disappointed he is that some people accuse the President of nepotism. As the President said, it was an open and honest election process but there was only one candidate following the surprise death of the other candidates in a mysterious plane crash. As the only remaining candidate, he was forced to take on his son as VP. He had no choice.

Looking ahead, the Supreme Court will have a busy year. A major decision is pending to reverse slavery laws, and they have a challenge to the health funding bill to switch funding from hospitals to hospices. The President is currently looking at a bill to make New York the gay capital of America by moving anyone who is gay into the city and removing their ability to leave. “It is in their best interests to protect them from gay hate crimes,” said the President.

He also has the Stock Market Bill in Congress which would allow the President to set prices for major stocks. “It will avoid volatility and protect innocent capitalists,” said President Trump. “Gambling is a wicked crime.” said Trump. “We need to clamp down on those problem gamblers in Wall Street.”

As you can see, the US has never been a more healthy society. Everyone is happy and anyone who disagrees is just not patriotic. Long live the King.