Abbott Cabinet Reshuffle

· Liberal Government, NBN, Politics
Author

We need Tony Abbott (aka The Man who Rewrote History) to do a Cabinet Reshuffle;

Christopher Pyne to Communication Minister.  He will bring his considerable media presence to the role.  His ability to answer a question he has not been asked is unique.  In addition he is the most experienced minister in doing backflips.  We definitely need one on the NBN.

Barnaby Joyce to Education.  Barnaby has an unusual grasp of the English language.  Some might say he has unparalleled understanding of ESL -English as a Second Language.  His maths is a little dodgy.  Remember when he mixed up billions and millions?  In spite of this he will bring a folksy country approach to educating kids.  Maybe our kids should milk the cows before going to school.

Tony Abbott to Minister for Science.  Another individual with a deep knowledge of science.  He is certainly across climate change.  It all seems to be solved according to him so it should be easy to do while being PM.  Might also restrict the time he has to make decisions.  This can only be a good thing.

Scott Morrison to Foreign Affairs.  The most urgent need at the moment is someone who will say nothing about foreign affairs, particularly about Indonesia and China.  Scott refuses to talk about his current ministry so will make an excellent candidate.

Julie Bishop to Immigration.  This area needs a woman’t touch.  A sensitive welcoming attitude.  Failing that, the Julie Bishop Death Stare can be employed to turn back the boats.

Malcolm Turnbull to the Opposition.  He has always seemed more aligned with Labor than Liberal.  This move would be fully supported by Tony Abbott.  It removes someone far more capable of leading the Liberals.  He can then use his Rudd/Gillard tactics substituting Shorten/Turnbull.

Nobody to Environment.  If you don’t need a Science Ministry, why would you need an Environmental role?  Besides it is removing red tape which means we are open for business.

Greg Hunt to Kindergarten.  Needs some reeducation.